A rewrite of the 5th entry I wrote on Deadjournal. The writing was a nightmare and the content a dream. So here is what was important to take from it:
I felt depressed today over friends I lost, but appreciate the friends I have. These friends and family shape who I am today, mind, body and soul. I visited a website on Buddhism and felt inspired to rewrite what I found interesting or valuable.
We are all here to learn and teach each other. Enlightenment is the goal. Truth rarely changes, neither does human nature.
I would rather teach others than be a director, but must find the truth within me first. I need to find the balance. I must overcome fear to become a better human. I love another person, so I'm not selfish. I'm going to help one person and learn something new each day. Life is not against anyone, we are here to teach each other. But instead of having this enlightened life, I'm going to watch tv (no seriously I did that afterwards).
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Mental health issues effect health beyond mental health, meaning I could die sooner as many as 25 years sooner. With adequate medical care I may live a long, meaningful full life as well, so don't get ready to say goodbye prematurely.
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From there do your own research, for more articles based on experience read psychcentral, the experience project, NAMI, wikihow, books written by the mentally ill, other blogs (duh!), and wikipedia. For academic research I suggest google scholar (clinical studies), consulting your local librarian, .edu pages, psychiatrists, pharmacists, therapists, teachers and books. See if your english teacher or intellectual friend has any ideas. There are also some good documentaries and many vlogs on youtube.
You are them, we are us
We need you away from us
You survived, but you are part of they
They are unsafe, so are you
They do not get our jobs
We have some jobs for them
Volunteer work mixed with pay
We give them food: our scraps
You can marry one of them
They will be your friends
They will help you recover
(Though recovery isn't possible)
We will call you a strain on the system
We won't give you the same medical care
We will talk about you to our friends
We may befriend you out of pity
If we do you must obey
If you lie to become one of us
The secret cannot be kept long
We wish this line was this clear
But couldn't we all be them?
(2nd draft, if you have any suggestions or comments please let me know, thanks)
Please watch this and share it.
You get diagnosed with a mental illness and everyone goes insane thinking you are dangerous to yourself or others, even if you are just strange. I am glad at least a few people have the same values I do, it makes picking myself back up and having a second chance at life possible. An agency is helping me apply for work, recover and get back on my feet. It never is the people you help, but the people who want to help everyone who really care. Hope everyone is well out there.
I regret holding grudges towards people who don't deserve it. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. I'd tear apart those closest to me just to feed it. I really need a life.
I know know what my new username shall be.