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Nov. 28th, 2015

No why does all this have to be about this blog.   It's like people who break into a ice cream store to steal pennies and poison. the ice cream. The owner finds out, so they threaten his life and take over the store. All the ice cream melts and they don't know how to make it.  They do manage to create a new flavor.  The owner comes back, they get mad how he changed the new flavor to the old flavor and they come in every day to tell him he is a bad person who does horrible things, but they want to be friends and refuse to leave until police arrive.  I don't know it's 2am and I'm tired of this situation.  Of all things it has to be about the blog.  I already am behind on comments and friend's entries.  I feel bad enough about that, I have to worry about my neighbors too.  Give me a break already, I don't care what they think, but I hate feeling unsafe at home (imaginary drama or not).  I want to be left alone and I will not relent until that happens.  A judgement here or there is expected, but threats & false accusations are different.  Personal safety shouldn't be a concern of someone innocent who keeps to herself. 

Life sucks, but I'm grateful.

These days I feel more burdened and less grateful, but still I have some attachments I'm happy to still have. 

I might have been to the hospital and been an outpatient, but I didn't die. 

My family seemed overwhelmed, but they still support me & live close by. 

I cannot compete with my friends, but we keep in touch.

I can't date, but at least every so often someone is interested. 

My blog is causing me stress & I never seem to catch up with friend's entries or comments, but I have a writing habit, a few people like it and I enjoy reading & writing. 

I can't afford expensive writing classes, but I am in a good creative writing class. 

I hurt myself getting angry, but no one else got hurt and I can afford an anger management group. 

I can't afford my house payment, but I can sell it. 

I lost my grandparents, but I had good memories with them. 

I can't party anymore, but it's better for my health. 

I'm suffering, but it could be worse and it could get better. 

I might have a half empty glass of water, but I have a glass with clean water and time to argue about whether it's half empty, half full and to read a scientific argument about what it really is.  I also have time to blog about it.

I feel fat & look terrible, but I had a nice feast with my family and another's. 

Overall it's pretty good.   



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